1. Why is my hair migrating from my forehead (where I want it) into my ears and nostrils (where I don’t want it)?
You know you’re officially an old fart when you buy your first nose and ear trimmer. (There’s one on my Amazon Wish List, but I can’t bring myself to cross that bridge just yet.)
2. Why are some people saving themselves for when they get married?
These people are completely missing the point. It’s precisely because you’ll get married one day that you should try to sleep around a bit before you do. Otherwise it would be like saying “Well, I’m moving to Saudi Arabia in a couple of weeks, I’d better not drink any alcohol until then.” Duh!
3. Why do cute little bunnies, sitting by the side of the road, see you coming with your car and then decide to cross the road at the very last moment, narrowly avoiding being crushed to death?
Have they been dared to do that by their friends (bunny pressure) or are they just thrill-seeking adrenaline junkies? Stay put, you silly bunnies!
4. Why are some adults converting into conservative, dogmatic religions like Roman Catholicism and Islam late in life?
I can understand if that’s how you were brought up as a child, fair enough, but what’s these people’s excuse?
5. Why are they still wearing those horrible wigs in British courts of justice?
Those things went out of fashion in the late 1700s, for god’s sake. Besides, I bet that when Louis XIV started wearing them, he was conducting a social experiment. I reckon he wanted to see if people would be stupid enough to copy something so ridiculous. Which they did, of course.
