As we all know, the world is full of all kinds of unfounded myths and superstitious beliefs. For example, I've heard people say that if you have big feet, or big hands, or a big nose, it means that you have a large penis. Having both big feet and a big nose, I'm in the position to debunk that myth and put it to rest once and for all, sadly.
So when people tell me that, I dunno, redheads are short-tempered, I don't pay any attention to that.
But if we talk about superstitious beliefs, they often come from the tendency of assigning a cause-and-effect relationship to events that are unrelated. For example, if you happen to perform a particular action, or wear a particular item of clothing, when something good happens to you, in the future you might perform the same action, or wear the same item of clothing, hoping that something good would happen again.
There was this American football player who, before each game, would shove two fingers down his throat and vomit in the toilet. Why? Once, feeling queasy before a game, he threw up, and later on he had the game of his life. So what he was doing in later games, he was trying to recreate the same conditions hoping for the same outcome. Like I said, it's a misguided idea of cause and effect.
But the rationale behind some superstitions is perhaps harder to pinpoint. The origin of some beliefs is lost in the mists of time, and then those beliefs are passed on from generation to generation, until they become accepted wisdom. And on this point, I'd like to tell you about an odd behaviour displayed by some men in my hometown of Pescara (and perhaps beyond it). In fact, I'll tell you a little story about it.
I used to know this girl who was my age and lived near where I lived. She didn't like the name her parents gave her, so being an independently-minded girl she chose for herself a different one. A Spanish name, as a matter of fact. Here I shall call her Carmen. (That's not the one she chose.)
(Quick digression: Carmen was really pretty, but interestingly one of her front teeth was visibly chipped. A big chunk of it was missing, due to her falling flat on her face once. What I found fascinating is that she never bothered to get it fixed. She couldn't care less, and she always smiled with confidence. I liked that.)
One day we were talking, and she told me that a few days earlier she was on a bus and, since she knew the driver, she went over and they started to chat. At one point, at a traffic light, a hearse with a coffin inside drove past, and the guy started acting all weird. All of a sudden he seemed very uncomfortable, as if something was bothering him.
At this point you should know that there are some people in Italy who think that seeing a hearse is bad luck. That's already silly in itself, but it gets better. There are also some men (hopefully not that many) who think that, in order to ward off the bad luck in such circumstances, one has to touch his own testicles. That's right.
I'm not saying that they would shove a hand down their trousers to touch their scrotum, but they would get hold of their crotch from the outside and give it a gentle squeeze for a second or two. (Well, if you happen to have testicles, then you'll know that, as far as squeezing goes, it can only be gentle.) I'm not making this up. I wish I was, believe me, but I'm not.
Going back to the bus driver, eventually the poor bastard couldn't hold it any longer and, managing to overcome his embarrassment, he said to her: "I'm sorry, Carmen, but I've got to do this." He then went ahead and grabbed the family jewels. Of course Carmen, being her, not only wasn't embarrassed at all, but she found the whole thing very amusing.
And in fact, the whole thing is so ridiculous that I almost feel ashamed and embarrassed on behalf of my fellow pescaresi just by telling it, even though I've never done that myself. I mean, don't get me wrong. I touch myself an awful lot. But I don't do it for good luck, and at least I have the decency to do it when no one's around. Who wants to see that? (That was a rhetorical question, I wasn't inviting you to watch.)
